This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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