What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
