Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
