I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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