oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so let's talk penis.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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