im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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