so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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