Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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