so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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