Soap is not a condiment
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
