so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
