He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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