My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
