there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
