I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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