hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
