He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize