mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
