Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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