Please, let me fuck your mom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
