Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
