if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
