i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize