she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
