wat bout pragnant strippers??
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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