dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
