I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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