I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
