shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
