I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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