did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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