it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
