If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
