so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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