Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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