That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
