Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
