My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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