i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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