Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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