Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
