the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
