Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
