as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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