peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
