we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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