So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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