like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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