YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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