my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.