my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
