just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize