i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
