Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
