Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
