I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
