a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
