We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
