I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are two peas in an std pod
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
