Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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