he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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