OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
